Not yet.

I was having this usual break while doing my essay and i came across one of my secondary school teacher's FB wall (typical stalker i am! hee :D ) Well if it wasnt for a status of my friend about a sad news of a loss of a teacher (Al-Fatihah) i wouldnt be bother to look and it wouldnt have led me be as mentioned before. So here it goes; friend- the news- need clarification- teacher A- teacher A's wife (yes, the one i'm about to write about in anonymous.)

She made me love the subject though i found it hard to score ( ke aku yang lembab? HAHAHA) At least i had that interest and though i may not be able to remember in details (obviously coz i've left it for years already) but those days of having her as a teacher still somehow lingers in my mind. Motherly, she is, and like such she could be as firm, and strict, and funny, and interesting. Haha. I havent heard of anyone complaining let alone getting bored. Too bad i only had a year with her, been replaced the year after. 

Enough with such background now let's jump into the points. I saw her connecting with her students and of all i saw these huge appreciation showered to her though through comments on status or random wall posts but i dunno somehow it makes me realise the feelings she might have inside. I dont really know, it's kinda cliche maybe- touched by such remembrance by the students. But i dunno why it hits me so much. Owh,  blame the assignments! Now everything is teaching-related. Haha.  

Of course i dont really know how it feels and looks like to be in the real situation. But here is what i believe, how a teacher could remember a student as such and such, so will the students, right? And i know for some reasons i may, someday come across a student/ students with my attitude if not exactly, maybe a resemblance. Karma is quite harsh i know but it's reality we're dealing with now. Mesti adaaa punya lah!  

But anyway, the point is what kind of teacher i'm gonna be? The one leaving the 'urgh i hate her she bla3 me and give bla3 work and bla3. Serious menyampah' feeling among my students or rather, well i dont know how to put it into words. It's not that i really want that kinda favour from the students but just enough to let them interested in what i'm conveying. (mendengar kata dah besar rahmat dah. Haha)  Because among the comments i read, honestly the interest they shown for the subject which really caught my eyes. 

And i remember our trip to Sabah back when we're still in Ipoh. We had this visit to one of the elite schools (La Salle if i'm not mistaken) there and we had the principal (who's in Jusa C grade, been pengetua cemerlang yada yada) gave a speech to us, the teachers-to-be. I wasnt paying attention to those awards, pedagogical methods she said but of course the end of the speech is where i often pay most of my attention to. And that, my friend, wasnt the pay-attention-because-it's- the-end-of-speech moment but the content. As far as i could remember she uttered this in quite a raised voice and i know it's that important;

'It's in your hands. You can make them interested in the subject or hate it for the rest of their life'. 

Hoh! Takut dah lah.

Amelioration

Okay i just broke my promise. I said no update until May the 1st (yea it's on my twitter) but i guess i cant wait.

The feeling's killing me seriously (exaggerration, indeed). The cycle where all of those homesick-ness, friendsick-ness, being sad for God knows the reason, freaking worried out of the blue yada yada is back knocking me down. Scary eh? It scares the heck outta me too T_T 

And this time around it's oh-so-not-at-a-right time. Talking about time, it's probably the most precious luxury i really dont posses now. Takde masa lahhh nak layan the cranky me ni weyhh. Assignments due next week; three freaking essays and when i said the 'e' word it comes along with all the lecture slides (untuk orang malas dan lost macam aku ni haruslah kena baca balik yang awal2 term punya kan!)and the list of EFL journals. Owh, the referencing and citation style we need to abide with is my favourite part of course. Tak leceh langsung, mana ade lah. Love it whole-heartedly! 

So at this very moment, my body refuses to talk to anyone. Boleh? So lucky you blog, the only non-living thing i have my favour to pour all my words to for now. Ironic.

I'll be right back when all of this messiness is over. The mess=myself i meant. An anti-social i am from now on. I'll be my normal self back. Soon. HAHA Bye!

Will you be waiting?

p/s- i dreamt of asteejay last night with the usual bunch of us. On the way back from prep, there was my eldest brother waiting for me nak bawak pergi outing. Perfect combo. Memang terbukti la weh segala sickness kau sebut2 tuh. Haih.

Lucky April babies, this is for you !

I may not have the most perfect gift to give but sometimes it's just the thought that matters the most, no? Sepatutnya awal-awal bulan lagi kasi kan, ni dah penghujung dah. HAHA i just found it! Enjoy reading.

Why You Should Embrace the April Showers of Your Life

1. You teach yourself to be positive, no matter what. When you find yourself staying positive through a difficult time, you'll feel amazing. Getting to the point in your life -- or in the way you think about your life -- where you can take a negative situation and see the good in it is one of the best feelings. Embracing the difficult times in your life will, without you even realizing it, teach you to be positive no matter what comes along.

2. You grow stronger with every single storm you weather. With every single difficulty you face in your life, you become a little bit stronger. It's hard to realize this when you're actually going through a tough time, but no matter what the outcome, you gain strength from every hardship. And that's a great reason to embrace the struggles you face in your life. Every single one of them is making you stronger.

3. You need the tough times to bring out the best in your life. I'm sure you've heard it before: "Without the rain, there can be no rainbow." Cliche? Yes. True? Yes! Without the really tough times in your life, it can be hard to appreciate all of the awesome things. It would be great if we could just have awesomeness at all times, but the tough times really do help us to see (and be grateful for) what we have in our lives.

4. You will uncover new things about yourself -- and your life. Another cliche, but true, face is that when you're struggling to make it through a tough time, you'll learn a lot about yourself and your life. When in the midst of a difficult situation, this fact can be hard to wrap your mind around -- but it's one of the greatest things about a tough time. Whether you realize it initially (or years later), you always learn something when you struggle to get through a difficulty.

5. You can be refreshed and revitalized by a spring rain. Just like the flowers begin to bloom after April showers, you too can be refreshed and begin to blossom after a tough time. It might not happen right away, but with time, you will see that any difficulty you've struggled to overcome has left you feeling oddly renewed. Though you may feel beaten down at first (as I'm sure those flowers' stems do when the rains come), you'll eventually begin to show your true colors, blossoming into a new self after the storm has passed.

(article source: positivelypresent.com - image source: sopaz.tumblr & weheartit)

Found here #thankyousomuch

P/s- thanks to Facebook too for the reminder. LOL!

Happy birthday! Stay POSITIVE!

Warwickians;

Min

Wanie (yes youuuu Syzwani Nancy)

Din

Hannah Najah

Ezi

Atikah Mustafa

And yang jauh di mata dekat di hati;

Diyana Shah (about the article i tweet-ed, the one who photocopied and  highlighted all the points, yea, it's you makcik ;p )

Hana! Hyeee..Hehe ;)

Ade tertinggal siapa siapa (lagi) tak?

#homesick. Urghhh!

My utmost reliance; Him.

The best for the people I love too, o' Allah.

No more excuses no more running only God can save you now

Panic attack!

Piles of notes, journals and articles to read.  And essaysss to kill!

Ah, LAME gila kan?




Siapa suruh malas?!

#noliteralmeaningseriously

If you were to become one

So we were on our way to Cliffs of Moher, i was about to tune in to my ipod, i heard something on the radio. Well, not so precious but not too bad to lend my ears on. There's this new artist (an Irish i bet he is) been interviewed by a local radio station. The questions revolved around his new album or was it a debut (not too sure about it) his background and so on. He sang his very own song too! Not bad. I kinda like his tone. And the song too but it slipped off my mind right after i put on my earphones. HAHA. Sorry Mr.. uhm.. i dont know your name too. -_-'

And there's this statement he made when he's asked about the challenges he encountered about becoming a new recording artist. Apparently one of the qualities the recording companies are looking for if not the main one but good enough to be a bonus is for the new talents to set up their own fans-based prior to their talent and of course, appearance. He mentioned ,'they (the recording companies) wanna see that first. They want me to have that strong and convincing response from the 'fans' that I myself have to work on .' I forgot his exact line but that's what basically he said. 

More of a two-way street approach and it takes quite a big effort for new talents nowadays. Not only talent, but the sense of presence is much needed too even before they become the real ones. Well of course, I dont have any issues of youtubers becoming artists. It's how the change in the society i'm talking about. The way the society 'makes up' the new artists  and the preferences made are taken quite seriously too. 

So just like Bieber, Rebecca Black and many more. You dont necessarily need to go through all the queuing up for hours for an audition or sending hundreds of demos ended up being rejected. Just give some pose in your own comfy room, make some good videos and tadaaa! (of course im being too general, i dont really know what really happens behind the curtains). But yea, it may seem easy. All you have to do is sing, get some good feedbacks and thousands or billions of 'like' buttons. And *cough* luck. Tough luck sometimes. But i believe it's not that easy. We're dealing with reality here, you perform and you get  direct praises or condemns right on your face. Tadah jela!

So here are some youtubers, up to my liking so far;

Because he could sing medley of Gaga's. pfft macam orang lain tak boleh pulak. I simply like him lah!

Because she can. Rap. Macam orang lain tak boleh pulak kan. 

Eii suka i lah! And owh, for some reasons i found the way she hits the 'bring' part is rather annoying. HAHA
#whocares?

Because she's cute. HAHA

Sebab dia panas. Boleh?HAHAdiamemangartisdahsekarang!

Okay ini tiba tiba HAHAHA

So what about you people?

When it comes to..life.

April 9,'11.

A heart-to-heart talk.

Trivial to more serious one

We talk, we ponder, we reflect.

Adult talk should i regard.

Life is simple if we care enough not to make it complicated. We finish study, get our job, settle down then thats it. But it's not that easy peasy as it may seem to be. Always, as funny as it may sound we never thought life would not be the same as how we wanted it to be. Things in between, that's what i meant. I'm thinking of life, metaphorically, as one fine road. We know where we started and never will us have a single clue on how we may end. Cliche. But the speed bumps we may hit that could divert us from where we're supposed to crawl, stand, walk and run on are all in different degree. And effect.

Experiences. The people we get to meet. Places we're doomed to be in. Situations we're stuck in. Decisions we have to make out of thousands of choices/ no choice at all. Ugly frogs(redundancy intended) us girls might have to kiss before finding the right one. Failures and mistakes. Success.  All surely help in our very own amendatory analysis of our life. Towards a better self, i believe. 

So that's why they say, life is about correcting, improving, re-constructing and the likes. Giving chances to ourselves and others. Seeking for and giving forgiveness. Moving on. 

Dont we feel the ultimate serenity and calmness by just that?

p/s-Thanks for the treat and your precious time. I laff yeww Kaylsss :)

Taking time is what love's all about.

Cliffs of Moher

So after Dublin, we headed to Galway the very next morning and followed a trip to Cliffs of Moher. It was a one-day trip, cost us 15 euro each. Enjoy the pictures;

Last June a man was blown off by the wind, fell off the cliff. Died. Hence the ayam pose. CUAK GILA

Atlantic ocean yaww!

Them.

Breathtaking, scenic view welcoming us there. Up until now, i still dont have enough words or to be exact, adjectives to really describe how nice the place is and my feelings inside. Or maybe I'm running out of vocab, need a lot more reading. haha. But seriously, I was crying inside, man! Beautiful places and sceneries never fail to please me. *meltsss* ;p

#not-so-trivial.

Earlier when we're about to hop on to the mini bus, the tour guide offered us to send us back and pick us up for the next day's trip. :O So yes, he dropped us at our friends's house (where we stayed) later that evening, and yes, picked us up the next morning for Connemara trip and also yes for sending us back. (No extra charge!) In fact we got 1 euro off  for the other trip tuh. Good strategy huh! HAHA

The place where we stayed for two days in Galway is my housemate's friend's house. So we were just some mutual friends but but but, we just felt like we've known one another for so long!Not only for the good food they made but for the way they treated us. Never once we felt like an outsider. The same when we're in Dublin. Eiii tolonglah siapasiapa nak cari jodoh, carilah diorang eh? HAHAHA I'm serious!

You found me

Have you had this feeling? You've never ever met someone, in person, and that person has never ever even slipped into your mind but somehow the moment that person spoke that person's mind, it reached you on every level? Well, to be honest, I've experienced some,  but it just didnt mean to stay long. Momentarily it was. But this time around, I dont know what kind of power she has, but she's just mesmerised me. Truly caused something in my heart and it hasnt left me just yet. I dont know about you, but I read this several times because simply, it just hit me right on time. Every particular sentence is so meaningful.

So she said about expectations and I couldnt agree more with what she conveys. The major source of disappointment is the expectations we put, not at a right place. Not that I havent realised it before, many times I said to myself, stop expecting from the people around me, not matter who they are because it wont bring me anywhere. And many times I failed for I too, like you people, am a human being. Regardless of how hard I tried to avoid myself having such dependency on others, at the end of the day, I found myself leaning my head on someone's shoulder crying my heart out. And not to have expectations on others, even one, is not the easiest job on earth!

The important point is to direct those kind of feelings to the only true source. To Him. Just as mentioned, 'depend on God'.  And I believe not only during our hard times that we say we genuinely need Him, but through every single event in our life. And I do believe, nothing beats the ultimate serenity, calm and relief upon lowering my head down, raising  my hands and pour my heart out to the one and only Him. 

I too have experienced the loss of my loved ones, hardships and many more large disappointments but the loss of my late father is major and the unexpected falling apart later on was even remarkably worse. It still is. Inexpressible. But as hard as it seems, I am actually glad that I've come to a priceless realisation that I didnt actually  lose my hope. And upon reading such a great masterpiece of hers convinced me the hope I thought was long gone was actually put somewhere else, not at the right place. How could I lose my hope on Him when He knows best every single event occurring throughout every single phase of my life. *sigh*

So come one, people. Lets just direct all of our expectations, hope, trust and believe to the only Him. Needless to say, He'll never ever fail us. Keep praying, He listens to every single of them. He knows not only the right things for us, but THE BEST. 

And I heard one said something like this, nothing is perfect but the strive for perfection never ends. But for me, if the struggle of finding perfection will eventually lead me having many sorts of endless expectations, I'd rather say no. From now on, when it comes to one trying so hard to achieve flawless-ness in everything in life, (apart from knowing the perfection is in Him) like Yasmin Mogaheed, I'd proudly say this out loud, 'this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?' 

 I've had my say on this. And I strongly urge you people to spare some time and read through her article. Not just read, but tag along some reflection of your life. Your own life. Not a highly religiously-content she made, just enough to agree that she has that soothing effect in her writing.At least it does to me.  Because I believe she not only speaks up her mind, she writes her heart out.  And when she said she's put all of her hopes and expectations to Him, she just did through her action-all of the references she made throughout the paragraphs. 

Well Yasmin Mogaheed, thousands of thank you(s) may not be enough, may He bless you and grant you all the happiness in your life. 

Keep on inspiring us the readers!

I just wanna be myself and for once, I wanna do what i wanna do without hurting or being hurt. I know where I stand and so I hope you do. 

of Ire: If you were here too.

I wasnt that enthusiastic about the trip to be honest because the main reason I should be going there wasnt there anymore. (makcik, sila muntah darah sekarang!). And I  purely followed my housemates' plan, nodding off my head all the time and being 'hmm ok je tak kisah'. 

Our flight was  last Monday, quite early in the morning (7.55) and I didnt sleep the whole night packing things (lame reason ever, come on!haha)  So i  thought i cud just doze off the moment i got on my seat on the plane. But i guess God decided to tickle us a bit. The flight was delayed for like 2 hours! Even we had to depart from another airport. Thick fog it was. I was so desperate to get some sleep, luckily the coach which brought us to the other airport was quite cosy and comfy that I got some quality nap seriously. Even the flight wasnt that comfy. HAHA.

So Hello Dublin! The funny part, i was praying all the way that we could 'accidentally' bumped into *cough* Shane, Mark or Nicky (westlife lah!) but shame on us, memang tak ah! haha.. so the hungry us when to this buffet restaurant to stuff ourselves with some good food. I felt like eating some beryani actually but the other restaurant was quite far ahead so we ended up there. Rating: 4/10. We had our stomach(s) filled but didnt quite enjoy the food. 

Off we went to get some souvenirs and to the park. The buildings are all nice, and the river, the streets somehow i felt like i was in paris and some parts are like london ahh i'm not sure. Too sleepy i cud barely open my eyes let alone to go all excited putting a smile on my face for hundreds of photos. Managed to get some, anyway. And thank God they decided to spend some time at the park, i managed to put my eyes to rest. Thanks Kinah and Tee for your laps so comfy yaww!

Duh, aku tengok pun nak tido!

Trinity college students behind me. ;p

Huda, a Dr-to-be. #credit to sha

#credit to sha

Tido tido tidoooo hahaha #credit to sha

Huda brought us to a canal near her house later that evening. We sat there, took some photos and left some good memories. And owh, she bought us some Taco fries so yummeyh! 

 #credit to sha

Look! Cud you see? 

What?

Future.

(panggggg sedas)

 #credit to sha

#credit to sha

BIIIIIIGG thanks to Huda and her housemates for the great hospitality. Felt touched. So much. *nanges* So bye bye Dublin, we'll surely remember you long time.

Multiple things in 1

I just got back from dealing with some toddlers of Malay postgrads students here. Kinda tired, oops, dont get me wrong, the kids, amazingly they're so behaved and i didnt go through all the hustle even once (read: running here and there) to get their attention. But it was the food. Nasi lemak ayam rempah they provided for us. Lemau kejap badan. HAHA.

Paling bijak, paling rajin. 'I want more work. Well, you get to learn more when you write'-so he said. *amazed*

The most becok on the right with the most pendiam. Agak-agak lagi doploh tahun jumpa, bercinta tak diorang neh? lol

So that's about it. Last time I said i wanna try to handle these kids kan? I made it, yeay alhamdulillah. But frustlah my fav kiddos tak datang today; the-oh-so-manja Nurin and Kak Yam. hmm.

So it's been two weeks, folks! Owh didn i tell you i'm in holidays now? Yea, Easter break. Not gonna tell you for how long you might hate me later. Eh dont you supposed to be hating the uni for giving us this loooong break? ;p

There're tonnes of things i've been eager to write and i guess i better rant it here before i forget. Yea, that's the whole point of me writing, because some days in the near future i might look back to the live i'd been living and see all the coulours in it (pfft jiwang!) I dont know whether it's just me but when i'm bored, i kinda scroll down all the post; be it on twitter, facebook or even here just to see what i'd been crapping since. Sometimes,  it's good to check myself to see whether ive been 'tersasar' or not. Hihi.

Alright, enough for that, imma recall things on the first week only. I'm afraid it's gonna be too lengthy if i were to pour it all at once here.

Of the sleepless night and side income. LOL

It was all random and a quick decision, we went to sell some food during Warwick games. Yea if you could see my status on facebook with some lame words in it -kebabom, ayam den lapeh, yada yada, yea, that's about it. We had 4 kinds only but penat nak mati! Seriously we went all  tired gila luckily we finished  early (did you get the hint?LOL) and off we went home, slept like there's no tomorrow.

And i was supposed to go to UCL for  forum perdana the next morning but yea, i guess i dont have to mention what happened. Zzzzzz...

even until i accidentally skipped my precious Atiqa's 2nd birthday wish. (i'll write about this on a special entry later) -_-'

Bik mama wannabe @_@

The crazy me and Su decided to hit Liverpool once again so she bought the Megabus tickets. This time we had quite an important 'mission' (hahaha) and needless to mention, we made it! We found some free tickets kot! All we had to pay was the booking fee for only 50p regardless u bought 5 ke, 6 ke, or even 10 (we're not that tamak la, bought for 6). So BIG thanks to Su for your treat. LOL

So we went here!

All were so hysterical went in and out from one shop to another. Gila macam nak tercabut tumit! Earlier me and Su was like 'eh, nak tengok-tengok je lah dulu, tak nak beli ape-ape sangat kot' And yea, we didnt buy 'ape-ape sangat pun' LOL. I guess i might go there again before i'm going back this summer, so sape-sape nak kirim boleh lah browse thru the site and hit me with your orders i'll think about it kay?

Bagi can lah dia ni. HAHA

Thanks to Wanie for your endless jokes we laughed so hard on the way home all went pengsan tidur tak ingat dunia. Haha.

So that's about it. Next: Of Ire.

I know they said, 'good things will eventually come to an end'. Worry not, whenever it's about to expire, start anew. After all, nothing is immortal. Cherish whatever's approaching ;)

Where are those words?

I found myself having this urge to write when I was in Ireland. Especially when we're travelling from a place to another. Well, I kinda like it when I'm on a moving vehicle (any) on a long journey it makes me feel alive cuz I get to think, reflect  and dream on many things.

I'll have to gather myself first, find back all those words and points before they escape me.

Now wait for me, will ya? It wont take so long I promise.



And owh, I found this on youtube. So beautiful, I nearly cried.