A tale of two extremes

There was once this person, who's very well-known and respected because of his good manner and attitude. People regarded him as a good person, somebody to look up to upon anything, to be taken examples of. This person, treated others very well, never did he let others down. Never broke promises, always put others before him. He's a pleasure to the people around him. He's a benchmark for everything good. 

Until it happened. He was feeling tired of mending other's hearts until he forgot his. He was way beyond himself. He felt he's been thinking about others too much until he couldnt take it any longer. He didnt want to be the person who sacrificed, he wanted so badly to have somebody do the sacrifice for him this time. Never did he realised he was changing. He, who used to be the listener and problem solver of others' has now becoming ignorant. He couldnt care less about whatever things he felt unnecessary, or rather unrelated to him. The bubble which was once protected him finally popped. He broke apart. 

And there they gone, all the good values which were so much defining him those days. He, was never regarded as such. Any more.

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There was this person who always broke the morality rules of living his life. Many accused him of an immoral, ignorant, and so much of negative attitudes. He was the benchmark, of how bad a person is, and how terrible human being could be. He was never respected. People tend to look down on him. Regardless of how fine he was dealing with his own life and own problems, he was never a good person to others. Because he was reckless, he couldnt care less about what others might think of him, of how others treated him. He's just being himself. 

Until one day, he's just tired. Of being regarded as bad, being displeased because of how he mistreated others. He wanted to change, so he started to approach the people around him, differently. Like how they wanted him to treat them. And he's well accepted later on. People tend to change their perception and realised how wrong they have  gone all this while. 

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I believe we've been dealing with such situations so much in life. Be it like the first story or the other one. Or maybe way different from the two, yet still under the two extremes in life- good and bad. It's either we're good or bad, it's more likely to be defined by the way we live our life, specifically by the way we treat others. Or to be more specific, through the eyes of others'. I may not be exactly true in this. But neither am I totally wrong by saying this, am I?

But the truth is, neither of us can be exactly on the two extremes; being 100% good, or 100% bad. It's like a continuum, whether it's leaning towards the good side or the opposite, do self -check. We can never say we're exactly good or bad because it's something we can't measure, theoretically or practically. And the same thing if we were to point on others; tell me on what basis can we say someone is a good or bad person? Is it something to do with what we're doing or living? If someone acts the same like us,up to our liking, then we can say s/he is good. Or, if someone does something out of our preference or favour, we regard them as the other way round? 

Lesson learnt. I was once who used to picture life through a small scope. I used to picture someone as good (or bad) through certain actions s/he did, not through the whole picture. I was rigid in that sense. Or probably still, but anyway, I now know, life isnt only about things revolving around within my own bubble. Life is more than what could we expect. And more exactly isnt about how we perceived things based on our own judgement. it's about considering other facts as well. 

Therefore, I shall say, we can never have a perception or rather specific expectations on anything or anyone around us. Because those two could be baseless. Well, if it is based on something, tell me if it isn't of any kind of our own judgement (or emotion). Or tell me, exactly, if it's based on what's been mentioned in the Quran. But then, even if someone's act is not up to what is written in the Quran, shall we regard that person as bad?No, we can never say that I believe. Read: The continuum of the two extremes. 

Going back to story 1, that person is regarded as good based on how others perceived him as, through the way he treated others. And by that, we shall say, there are expectations and perceptions on him from others, yes? And at some point he realised he was living on other's way of living. He just felt he'd given so much. So, he changed. And he's no longer a good person, again, according to the people surrounded him. 

And so as the second story. I wonder what could happen if he slips off one day. 

I dare to say, it's rather simple. Because of those perceptions we have on others. Be it as an individual towards others or as one of those towards an individual. We want everything to be as what we expected. We live on expectations. We tend to conform to certain ways of living and yea,as much as I hate to admit; thinking.That's why things in 1 and 2 happened. We got tired sometimes thinking too much about pleasing others or being displeased by others. We easily got frustrated of caring too much.

Those kind of ways wont bring us far anywhere, but will come back, reaching for us, and hurt us if we were to think too much about it. (Speaking of experiences). So the point is now, lets just deal with it in different approaches, maybe? I'm not saying that we couldnt care less about others, but try not to engage our thinking too much upon it. Remember, NO ONE are exactly good or bad,including ourselves. So if we aren't, then why expect it from other people?

Just shoot me if I'm wrong.

p/s-Another lesson learnt: We can never be wrong to hate one's attitude. But to disfavour one because of that, is exactly wrong.